3 Lessons I Learned from Failing – And Why It Can Be the Best Thing That Happens to You:

I still remember sitting in my car the summer before my senior year of college, reading the email that confirmed I wasn’t getting promoted at my internship.

I sat there in the cracked seat of my 2012, poop-brown Honda Civic, parked outside my college apartment. You’d think I’d be angry or bitter at my boss for passing me over for younger students. I only had one year of college left, and I thought a promotion was in the bag.

But I wasn’t angry. I was stunned. Frozen. I’d been fortunate enough to get everything I wanted in life. And no, I’m not talking about material things, though I come from a loving family that’s always taken care of me.

I mean the things I chased – the experiences I wanted to be part of. In high school, I was on the basketball team, but I wasn’t the star player. I was the 11th, 12th, or 13th guy on the bench. But I made the team, and that was enough for me.

Getting into college was the same. I didn’t get scholarships, but I didn’t need them. My parents supported me financially, and once I was accepted, I felt like I had done my part.

Even landing my college internship felt like that. I wasn’t the most experienced candidate, but I got the spot. Another goal was checked off the list.

During my junior year, I learned the ropes at the internship – how things worked, and what was expected. The typical “first year on the job” stuff.

I hoped to climb the ranks during my senior year. But that didn’t happen. For the first time, I felt like I had failed at something that might affect my future.

Yes, I know this sounds like a first-world problem – and it was. But at the time, I thought not getting promoted meant I wouldn’t get a job after graduation. I worried my resume wouldn’t stand out without that higher title. I thought I was letting my family down.

For days, I replayed the rejection, wondering where I went wrong. I doubted if I was good enough to pursue my goals. But in hindsight, that failure shaped me more than any success.

When my senior year started, I decided to make the most of my role, even if I wasn’t promoted. I could’ve let the year slide by, bitter about being stuck in a support role. Or I could embrace the position and become the best at it.

So I gave it everything. I showed up and showed out. I stopped doubting myself and started believing that even this role had value.

Midway through the year, I had a performance review with my boss – let’s call him “Mr. B.” I was nervous. This was the guy who didn’t promote me. What if he still didn’t see progress?

To my surprise, Mr. B told me I had exceeded his expectations. He admitted if he could choose again, I would’ve gotten the promotion.

This wasn’t some fairytale moment where I got a full-time job offer. I was still just a senior in college, figuring things out. But that conversation meant everything. It taught me how to handle failure, how to grow from it, and how to use it as fuel.

So here are the three biggest lessons I learned:

1. Failure Forces You to Reflect and Adapt

After not getting promoted, I did something new – I asked for feedback. Mr. B told me my skills were solid, but I lacked specificity. I wasn’t giving clear examples of how I solved problems or handled responsibility.

That feedback was priceless. It wasn’t just about the promotion – it changed how I approached opportunities moving forward. I started refining my communication and focused on showing how I overcame challenges, not just listing my accomplishments.

Lesson: Don’t be afraid to ask why you failed. It’s not rejection – it’s redirection.

2. Perfectionism Holds You Back More Than Failure

For the longest time, I hesitated to start things unless I was sure they’d be perfect. I feared delivering anything less than flawless work. But waiting for perfection caused more harm than failure ever did.

At first, I thought staying in the same role would set me back. However, I realized I could still thrive by giving my best to the position I had. I took on extra projects, asked more questions, and found ways to grow within the role.

Lesson: Start now, even if it’s messy. Perfection isn’t the goal – progress is.

3. Failure Builds Resilience – If You Let It

It’s easy to let failure define you. I used to let setbacks feel personal. But over time, I learned that resilience isn’t something you have – it’s something you build.

Now, when things don’t go my way, I ask: “What can I learn from this?” Resilience grows every time you bounce back.

One saying I hold onto is, “You’re not a failure until you quit.” Setbacks happen. It’s quitting that makes them permanent.

Lesson: Failure isn’t final. Use it as fuel, not a roadblock.

Final Thoughts

Failure isn’t fun, but it’s necessary. Without it, you miss out on the lessons that lead to growth. If you’re in the middle of a setback, trust that there’s value in it – even if you can’t see it yet.

Success isn’t about avoiding failure – it’s about using it. Embrace the lessons, and you’ll find yourself closer to your goals than you imagined.